Member Article

Quarter of North West’s divorced parents share Christmas

A survey by national law firm Simpson Millar has revealed the complexities facing divorced and separated parents in North West at Christmas time.

• 45% of newly separated parents in North West cannot remain on speaking terms to make arrangements for the first Christmas apart
• 38% have sought legal advice to help them find a solution
• 34% worry about the presence and influence of new boyfriend/girlfriend (5% above national average)
• Only 7% of parents ask their children what they would like to do, but 61% say their children’s ‘opinions are an important factor’
• 24% of divorced and separated parents in North West come together for Christmas

The Simpson Millar Family Law Christmas Survey 2014 uncovers the most significant challenges separated parents in North West face in the lead up to the Festive Season, showing that mums and dads frequently struggle to find common ground while worrying about issues such as whether their ex partners are spoiling the children to win affection, or if new family members are having a bad influence.

Kate Donohue Jones, Manchester based Family Law Solicitor and partner at national law firm Simpson Millar, explains: “We looked at the general approach divorced and separated parents take to Christmas; how do they organise who gets the children? Do they plan ahead to avoid arguments and do custody arrangements have an influence on how the holiday season is planned out.

Getting it together for Christmas?

“Over a quarter (45%) of parents in the North West admitted that the biggest challenge for them ahead of the first Christmas apart was to remain on speaking terms at all. From then on, almost a third (32%) admit they are still ‘cutting it fine’ or ‘leaving it until the last minute’ to make arrangements for Christmas, “says Kate.

“Last year, we were approached by several distraught fathers just a few days before Christmas – desperately asking for help because their child’s mother had decided to deny them time with the children over the holidays. But although sometimes the only way to ensure access is by applying to the courts, leaving it until the last minute is unwise.”

Are parents really listening to their children?

The survey also discovered an interesting dichotomy in how divorced and separated parents consider their children’s wishes at Christmas. “This was a fascinating revelation, in that only 7% admitted to asking their children what they wanted to do at Christmas, but over eight times more parents (61%) said their children’s ‘opinions are an important factor’. We often find when warring parents come to Simpson Millar for advice, they are adamant they are thinking only of their children, but in my experience, children often don’t mind which parent they are with on 25 December. I try to encourage parents to make it a bonus that their children get to enjoy two different Christmas Days – sadly this doesn’t happen often.”

A forgiving bunch

A potential silver lining can be found in the fact that mums and dads in the North West can be a pretty forgiving bunch. It may surprise you to learn that (24%) of divorced and separated parents actually spend their Christmas Day together as a family. This is certainly not the case across all of the UK as other regions such as West Midlands have only 11% of parents willing to come together for Christmas.

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by Elina Miezite .