Member Article

Yorkshire’s divorcees least likely to go to lawyers

A survey by national law firm Simpson Millar has revealed the complexities facing divorced and separated parents in Yorkshire at Christmas time.

• 54% of newly separated parents in Yorkshire cannot remain on speaking terms to make arrangements for their first Christmas apart (13% above national average, West Midlanders scored highest with 56%)
• But they are also the least likely to visit a lawyer. Only 28% have sought legal advice to help them find a solution

The Simpson Millar Family Law Christmas Survey 2014 uncovers the most significant challenges separated parents in Yorkshire face in the lead up to the Festive Season, showing that mums and dads frequently struggle to find common ground while worrying about issues such as whether their ex partners are spoiling the children to win affection, or if new family members are having a bad influence.

Emma Pearmaine, Head of Family Law at Simpson Millar, explains: “We looked at the general approach divorced and separated parents take to Christmas; how do they organise who gets the children? Do they plan ahead to avoid arguments and do custody arrangements have an influence on how the holiday season is planned out.”

Getting it together for Christmas?

“Over a half (54%) of parents in Yorkshire admitted that the biggest challenge for them ahead of the first Christmas apart was to remain on speaking terms at all which is way above the national average (41%),” says Emma. “From then on, over a quarter (28%) admit they are still ‘cutting it fine’ or ‘leaving it until the last minute’ to make arrangements for Christmas,”

One of the major causes of disputes between divorced and separated parents, says Emma, is when they leave things too late before making arrangements at Christmas. “Last year, we were approached by several distraught fathers just a few days before Christmas – desperately asking for help because their child’s mother had decided to deny them time with the children over the holidays. But although sometimes the only way to ensure access is by applying to the courts, leaving it until the last minute is unwise.”

The survey also looked at other potential flashpoints as parents approach Christmas apart. The most common cause of argument for separated parents In Yorkshire is failure to agree on ground rules. 42% of mums and dads across the Yorkshire cited this as the likeliest source of tension, while 31% said they were concerned their ex-partner would be spoiling their children.

Are parents really listening to their children?

The survey also discovered an interesting dichotomy in how divorced and separated parents consider their children’s wishes at Christmas. “This was a fascinating revelation, in that only 11% admitted to asking their children what they wanted to do at Christmas, but seven times more parents (77%) said their children’s ‘opinions are an important factor’. We often find when warring parents come to Simpson Millar for advice, they are adamant they are thinking only of their children, but in my experience, children often don’t mind which parent they are with on 25 December. I try to encourage parents to make it a bonus that their children get to enjoy two different Christmas Days – sadly this doesn’t happen often.”

A forgiving bunch

A potential silver lining is that in actual fact the mums and dads in the Yorkshire can be a pretty forgiving bunch. It may surprise you to learn that (20%) of divorced and separated parents actually spend their Christmas Day together as a family. This is certainly not the case across all of the UK as other regions such as the West Midlands have only 11% of parents willing to come together for Christmas.

This was posted in Bdaily's Members' News section by Elina Miezite .